Musings Of An Arms Dealer
by Chrissy Renee Pinto
Summary: just of a small fic on the musings of theresa carano! very fluffy


_love that private moment between theresa carano and jake! it was so cute! just a small one short on her thoughts!_

**Does he love me?  
I wanna know!  
How can I tell if he loves me so? **

(Is it in his eyes?)  
Oh no! You need to see!  
(Is it in his eyes?)  
Oh no! You make believe!  
If you wanna know  
If he loves you so  
Its in his kiss!  
(That's where it is!)

(Oh yeah! Or is it in his face?)  
Oh no! It's just his charms!  
(In his warm embrace?)  
Oh no! That's just his arms!  
If you wanna know  
If he loves you so  
It's in his kiss!  
(That's where it is!)  
Oh,ooh, oh! Its in his kiss!  
(That's where it is!)

Funny that song should come to mind as I slow dance with him. We're going to kiss..as according to plan..no..not by his plan...my plan!

I shouldn't be surprised because It is a romantic song for a romantic moment but the trouble with thinking amorously is that you get sidetracked from reality. And the reality is ,this isn't a simple boy meets girl scenario but a cop catching robber. He is the NASA secret agent and I'm the dangerous arms dealer. I know all of this because I have been playing the game for 6 years and have been taught by the best.So I really could'nt care less if he loved me or not! I admit a part of me is curious about his intentions but it just constituents a small part of who I am.

You see men aren't the only one who can lie through their teeth. Woman can be pretty adept too when it suits us! But we're not stupid enough to blow our cover for a piece of ass!

His eyes meet mine and we share a small grin like we're already a couple and just being all lovey dovey with sugar heart candies!

But I know for a fact that he smiles because he got what he wanted for NASA and is just imagining them patting him on the head and telling him what a 'good boy he is! Just watching him doing his 'curious George' impersonation is laughable. To tell the truth I'm a bit peeved that they send a rookie..even though he is infested with nanobot technology but I couldn't stop the smile from escaping from my lips! He stared at me with confusion decorating his features and an unspoken question in his eyes. I cover it up with a chuckle and an exaggeration of how cute he looks when he scrunches his forehead. He flashes me an endearing look tingled with shyness. He is playing the part of a handsome but shy, computer nerd to perfection..i'll give him that!

He focuses on me and I can see with my own eyes his implicit thoughts.

Like all men ,He wants something extra for the trouble he has gone through and like all men he has only one thing on his mind. But I smile charmingly and give him a taste of what he can expect; the kiss is soft and tender like two people on their first date. When he gently caresses my lips, I feel myself melt into it and into the illusion we've created. There is a part of me that wants this..that wants to be this artistic girl kissing a boy she likes! but even if I decide to morph into that person one day , I knew I wouldn't or could'nt last long!

In the beginning I only did it to impress my dad. My dad as I told him before, was a practical man and he did his best to drill his ideals into me what with his wife leaving him and then dying on him. Yes, even though I was ten years old my father made an example out of her ,of how ungrateful and pathetic women of the family were.

I clearly remember the hate I felt towards my own mother for leaving me and wanting nothing more to do with her! In my childhood narcissism I was convinced the path my father had mapped out for me was the obvious choice.

He made it sound like it was destiny, my only alternative in life, what he failed to mention was the paranoia, fear and the loneliness.

Alan lowers his head and begins to plant kisses down my neck, they send soft shivers down my spine and I'm tempted to give in. I run my fingers through his hair, tangling them in his silk curls while his hands slide lower down my back.

His mouth captures mine again and continues its graceful caress. The music has stopped instead replaced by a placid silence, where our light breathing and the occasional moans are the only sounds. The way he is touching me, I am close to losing control. It was never supposed to be like this..the artist and the terrorist were always two different persons but somewhere along the line they united and I was one of the same. He breaks the spell suddenly and instead muses on my face, studying its contours with his eyes and finger. I kiss the pads of his fingertips as they passed my lips. "I've got to go!"

And just like that the fantasy is shattered into a million pieces, the shards slowly pricking my heart.i nodded in understanding as he practically runs out the door. 'He is like all the other men!' I snap, angry at the situation I let myself get into. After I composed myself enough for the call, I made it,

"Lorenzo! Get ready for phase two!"

I hung up but my mind refuses to divert from the image of him on top of me , kissing me passionately; his honey colored hues ,which a girl could drown in, scrunched in concentration. I glance around the room with a heavy heart until my eyes fall on the painting he had bought in. 'Better get started on it! The guilt factor isn't going to work itself out !'


End file.
